Walls

I have put up some pretty high walls around my relationship with Darcy. I don't ever want to be unfaithful to her. I never want to put myself in a situation where: I will be tempted to be unfaithful, someone will question if I'm being faithful, or Darcy will question if I'm being faithful. So I've put up some walls.

Here is an example. There is a high school girl who is shadowing me at work. One day she got here before anyone else. I decided that we should go to a coffee house to work so that there would be other people around. I know that nothing would have happened, but I didn't want to give anyone else a reason to question my faithfulness to Darcy.

Last week I was getting ready to email a girl who reads this blog. I was trying to decide how to do it appropriately- should I CC her husband, or should I CC Darcy (which I did). In my mind I was talking through how I'd explain to this girl why I'd CC'd Darcy. My thoughts went like this:

"I've put up walls around my marriage to defend it and so that noone can ever question my faithfulness to Darcy. I do this because our relationship is the most important thing in the world to me."

Then I think this: "Well obviously my relationship with God is THE most important."

Then God chimes in and says: "Really? What kinds of walls have you put up to defend our relationship? Are you ever unfaithful to me? Do you do things that would make other people question your faithfulness to me? Do you do things that would make me question your faithfulness to me?"

OUCH! I have to admit that the tv shows/movies I watch and the music I listen to would leave the door open to questions. There have been times that I've been at Blockbuster and hoped that kids from our youth group wouldn't walk in and see the movie in my hand.

Why is it that I can so seriously defend my relationship with Darcy, yet be so flippant with my relationship with God?

What do you think? How big are the walls that you build around your relationship with Christ?