Mid-20's Crisis Part III

If you haven't read Part I, here is the scoop. It seems like many people in our age group are struggling with many of the same issues, so I wanted us to be able to offer ideas, ask questions, and chat with each other. The basic rule is not to share other people's business (gossip) and to be sensitive.

Here is our second subject: singleness. I know that my thoughts are coming only from my point of view, so I really hope that some others can hop in the conversation.

I guess that as long as I can remember I have had a desire for a lasting committed relationship. When I was in elementary school that didn't really mean much. I didn't want to talk on the phone (or in person for that matter) and I didn't like notes. I'm not sure what exactly I enjoyed about "going with someone," but I know that I did love that feeling of someone thinking I was special. My desires grew as I did and they changed to a gut wrenching desire to be married.

I would have never imagined that I would be the first person in my family (extended included) to not be married immediately after college. This reality became more and more difficult as my younger cousins passed me on the race to the alter. The feelings of emptiness were often almost too much to bear. I'll never forget the day that I passed the unofficial/unspoken "fail date" for marriage set by my family. That was a bad day!

Wow...enough sad. Single life wasn't all that bad though. I had more freedom and less worries. I was able to go anywhere and do anything that I wanted. I had more time because I only had one schedule to worry about. And, when I was having a good attitude about being single I had a lot of fun.

I think that the most important thing that I tried to do was to trust God to bring me the right person at the right time. I loved the love stories found in Song of Solomon and Genesis 24/29. I also had to trust that God would provide me with the love and friends that I needed.

Wow. This was a long one. I'd love to hear from you all. How did/do you handle being 20-something and single?

Mid-20s-Crisis Part II

Thanks for the ideas. Remember the ground rules: don't talk about someone else's life! Also realize that none of us have "life" all figured out, so let's make this a discussion.

Here is the first topic. How do we balance our schedules? What do we want our priorities to be and what does our life show that our priorities actually are.

I want my priorities in life to be serving God, loving Darcy, being a good father, being a good friend/brother/son/cousin...and impacting my community. I love my job as a youth pastor, I'm passionate about my role as a coach, and I can't get enough of my wife. Many times this leaves me lacking in the good friend category. I know that I need some lines, so here are some that I've tried to make.

1. A date with Darcy every week
2. Only two or three mornings and two evenings per week devoted to youth group kids (though this might change when our baby gets here).
3. Every Monday night is dinner with my extended family.
4. I love to play softball, but realize that I will probably have to give this up this summer
5. I'm coaching Upward Basketball (which is a good thing), but have already filled my schedule with enough coaching, so I will give that up too.

The place that I get in the most trouble is with coaching. I know that through coaching I can serve God and impact our community...and I love it, but it takes so much time.

I'm a work in progress, so I know things will change. I also know that things probably need to change.

What about the rest of you. What things do you do to balance your schedule?

Mid 20's Crisis

I think that I want to take a few weeks to do something different with the blog. Recently I have been thinking about how this is a tough age for a lot of people. As I look around at our age group I see some pretty common things that we struggle with. Many of us are no longer in the new adult stage of life that is marked with completion of high school or college. Do you remember how bright life seemed then? We couldn't wait to get our lives going.

Well now we are a few years past that...but we still are wanting to get our lives going! Many of us have young relationships, young families and young careers. We know that the foundation we lay now will be critical to the formation of the rest of our lives.

Unfortunatley I know that many of us sometimes struggle with these things. I thought we could take a few weeks to tackle a few issues and give each other some support for these things.

A few ground rules though...#1. Don't share someone else's business! If you do I will delete it. #2. Understand that as we talk about these topics, some will undoubtedly be personal to you. Please understand that I will never be talking about a specific person or friend.

So lets start with a survey. What are the things that you see people our age struggling with. What are the things we should talk about. Please leave your ideas in the comments.

Here is a start: We struggle with balancing schedules (job, spouse, kids, hobbies)

Waiting

When Jesus was walking the earth he told the story of a man and his two sons. It is found in Luke chapter 15. The story is commonly known as the Prodigal Son. I'm not going to type out all the text, but I'd encourage you to read it if you never have. The basics of the story go as follows:

A son asks his father for his inheritance while the father is still living.
The son leaves and wastes his inheritance.
The son comes back to the father and the father welcomes him back.

This is a story that I was very familiar with, but in the past few weeks I've learned a few things about it that put a new spin on it for me.

The first thing that I learned was that the son was probably 30 years old (Jewish tradition forbid someone from receiving an inheritance from a living relative befor they were 30 years old).

After I learned about his age, I began to think about his situation. He was an adult, and if he was anything like me he was probably sure that he knew what was best in every situation. His father had probably provided everything he needed and many things that he wanted...but his father had not yet given him every good thing that the father had to give. His father was going to give him every good thing, but the father knew that the son wasn't yet ready to receive it.

Have you ever been there? God has given you every thing you need and blessed you with many things that you want. Yet, there is something good that God is telling you to wait for.

When we are waiting we can't possibly understand why God wouldn't give it to us right now. We are confused about why God would tell us to wait.

Those are some of the toughest times.

When you are in that spot you must choose to trust in God. You must trust that He knows what is best and you must trust that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him." (Romans 8:28)